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The Hotel X was a vast, grandiose place with a classical facade, and
at one side a little, dark doorway like a rat-hole, which was the service
entrance. I arrived at a quarter to seven in the morning. A stream of men
with greasy trousers were hurrying in and being checked by a doorkeeper who
sat in a tiny office. I waited, and presently the CHEF DU PERSONNEL, a sort
of assistant manager, arrived and began to question me. He was an Italian,
with a round, pale face, haggard from overwork. He asked whether I was an
experienced dishwasher, and I said that I was; he glanced at my hands and
saw that I was lying, but on hearing that I was an Englishman he changed
his tone and engaged me.
'We have been looking for someone to practise our English on,' he
said. 'Our clients are all Americans, and the only English we know is----'
He repeated something that little boys write on the walls in London. 'You
may be useful. Come downstairs.'
He led me down a winding staircase into a narrow passage, deep
underground, and so low that I had to stoop in places. It was stiflingly
hot and very dark, with only dim, yellow bulbs several yards apart. There
seemed to be miles of dark labyrinthine passages--actually, I suppose, a
few hundred yards in all--that reminded one queerly of the lower decks of
a liner; there were the same heat and cramped space and warm reek of food,
and a humming, whirring noise (it came from the kitchen furnaces) just like
the whir of engines. We passed doorways which let out sometimes a shouting
of oaths, sometimes the red glare of a fire, once a shuddering draught from
an ice chamber. As we went along, something struck me violently in the
back. It was a hundred-pound block of ice, carried by a blue-aproned
porter. After him came a boy with a great slab of veal on his shoulder, his
cheek pressed into the damp, spongy flesh. They shoved me aside with a cry
of 'SAUVE-TOI, IDIOT!' and rushed on. On the wall, under one of the lights,
someone had written in a very neat hand: 'Sooner will you find a cloudless
sky in winter, than a woman at the Hotel X who has her maidenhead.' It
seemed a queer sort of place.
One of the passages branched off into a laundry, where an old,
skull-faced woman gave me a blue apron and a pile of dishcloths. Then the
CHEF DU PERSONNEL took me to a tiny underground den--a cellar below a
cellar, as it were--where there were a sink and some gas-ovens. It was
too low for me to stand quite upright, and the temperature was perhaps 110
degrees Fahrenheit. The CHEF DU PERSONNEL explained that my job was to
fetch meals for the higher hotel employees, who fed in a small dining-room
above, clean their room and wash their crockery. When he had gone, a
waiter, another Italian, thrust a fierce, fuzzy head into the doorway and
looked down at me.
'English, eh?' he said. 'Well, I'm in charge here. If you work well'
--he made the motion of up-ending a bottle and sucked noisily. 'If you
don't'--he gave the doorpost several vigorous kicks. 'To me, twisting
your neck would be no more than spitting on the floor. And if there's any
trouble, they'll believe me, not you. So be careful.'
After this I set to work rather hurriedly. Except for about an hour, I
was at work from seven in the morning till a quarter past nine at night;
first at washing crockery, then at scrubbing the tables and floors of the
employees' dining-room, then at polishing glasses and knives, then at
fetching meals, then at washing crockery again, then at fetching more meals
and washing more crockery. It was easy work, and I got on well with it
except when I went to the kitchen to fetch meals. The kitchen was like
nothing I had ever seen or imagined--a stifling, low-ceilinged inferno of
a cellar, red-lit from the fires, and deafening with oaths and the clanging
of pots and pans. It was so hot that all the metal-work except the stoves
had to be covered with cloth. In the middle were furnaces, where twelve
cooks skipped to and fro, their faces dripping sweat in spite of their
white caps. Round that were counters where a mob of waiters and PLONGEURS
clamoured with trays. Scullions, naked to the waist, were stoking the fires
and scouring huge copper saucepans with sand. Everyone seemed to be in a
hurry and a rage. The head cook, a fine, scarlet man with big moustachios,
stood in the middle booming continuously, 'CA MARCHE DEUX AUFS BROUILLES!
CA MARCHE UN CHATEAUBRIAND AUX POMMES SAUTEES!' except when he broke off to
curse at a PLONGEUR. There were three counters, and the first time I went
to the kitchen I took my tray unknowingly to the wrong one. The head cook
walked up to me, twisted his moustaches, and looked me up and down. Then he
beckoned to the breakfast cook and pointed at me.
'Do you see THAT? That is the type of PLONGEUR they send us nowadays.
Where do you come from, idiot? From Charenton, I suppose?' (There is a
large lunatic asylum at Charenton.)
'From England,' I said.
'I might have known it. Well, MAN CHER MONSIEUR L'ANGLAIS, may I
inform you that you are the son of a whore? And now--the camp to the
other counter, where you belong.'
I got this kind of reception every time I went to the kitchen, for I
always made some mistake; I was expected to know the work, and was cursed
accordingly. From curiosity I counted the number of times I was called
MAQUEREAU during the day, and it was thirty-nine.
At half past four the Italian told me that I could stop working, but
that it was not worth going out, as we began at five. I went to the
lavatory for a smoke; smoking was strictly forbidden, and Boris had warned
me that the lavatory was the only safe place. After that I worked again
till a quarter past nine, when the waiter put his head into the doorway and
told me to leave the rest of the crockery. To my astonishment, after
calling me pig, mackerel, etc., all day, he had suddenly grown quite
friendly. I realized that the curses I had met with were only a kind of
'That'll do, MAN P'TIT,' said the waiter. 'TU N'ES PAS DEBROUILLARD,
but you work all right. Come up and have your dinner. The hotel allows us
two litres of wine each, and I've stolen another bottle. We'll have a fine
We had an excellent dinner from the leavings of the higher employees.
The waiter, grown mellow, told me stories about his love-affairs, and about
two men whom he had stabbed in Italy, and about how he had dodged Us
military service. He was a good fellow when one got to know him; he
reminded me of Benvenuto Cellini, somehow. I was tired and drenched with
sweat, but I felt a new man after a day's solid food. The work did not seem
difficult, and I felt that this job would suit me. It was not certain,
however, that it would continue, for I had been engaged as an 'extra' for
the day only, at twenty-five francs. The sour-faced doorkeeper counted out
the money, less fifty centimes which he said was for insurance (a lie, I
discovered afterwards). Then he stepped out into the passage, made me take
off my coat, and carefully prodded me all over, searching for stolen food.
After this the CHEF DU PERSONNEL appeared and spoke to me. Like the waiter,
he had grown more genial on seeing that I was willing to work.
'We will give you a permanent job if you like,' he said. 'The head
waiter says he would enjoy calling an Englishman names. Will you sign on
for a month?'
Here was a job at last, and I was ready to jump at it. Then I
remembered the Russian restaurant, due to open in a fortnight. It seemed
hardly fair to promise working a month, and then leave in the middle. I
said that I had other work in prospect--could I be engaged for a
fortnight? But at that the CHEF DU PERSONNEL shrugged his shoulders and
said that the hotel only engaged men by the month. Evidently I had lost my
chance of a job.
Boris, by arrangement, was waiting for me in the Arcade of the Rue de
Rivoli. When I told him what had happened, he was furious. For the first
time since I had known him he forgot his manners and called me a fool.
'Idiot! Species of idiot! What's the good of my finding you a job when
you go and chuck it up the next moment? How could you be such a fool as to
mention the other restaurant? You'd only to promise you would work for a
'It seemed more honest to say I might have to leave,' I objected.
'Honest! Honest! Who ever heard of a PLONGEUR being honest? MON AMI'
--suddenly he seized my lapel and spoke very earnestly--'MON AMI, you
have worked here all day. You see what hotel work is like. Do you think a
PLONGEUR can afford a sense of honour?'
'No, perhaps not.'
'Well, then, go back quickly and tell the CHEF DU PERSONNEL you are
quite ready to work for a month. Say you will throw the other job over.
Then, when our restaurant opens, we have only to walk out.'
'But what about my wages if I break my contract?
'Boris banged his stick on the pavement and cried out at such
stupidity. 'Ask to be paid by the day, then you won't lose a sou. Do you
suppose they would prosecute a PLONGEUR for breaking Us contract? A
PLONGEUR is too low to be prosecuted.'
I hurried back, found the CHEF DU PERSONNEL, and told him that I would
work for a month, whereat he signed me on. Ibis was my first lesson in
PLONGEUR morality. Later I realized how foolish it had been to have any
scruples, for the big hotels are quite merciless towards their employees.
They engage or discharge men as the work demands, and they all sack ten per
cent or more of their staff when the season is over. Nor have they any
difficulty in replacing a man who leaves at short notice, for Paris is
thronged by hotel employees out of work.